Typecasting | Fort Bend Focus Magazine

Typecasting

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Loving the full grown, big hair girls!

When it comes to the laws of attraction, I believe folks are attracted to similar characteristics in people particularly when it comes to affairs of the heart. Take Mr. Kaminski for instance. He has a type – always has. Interesting thing, his standards are really high. I guess that’s a compliment of sorts, him having such high standards and all.

One might define his taste when it comes to women as complicated, unattainable even. I’m okay with that. I’m complicated, unattainable at times depending on my mood. That sentiment puts my mind at ease, his definitive type. What exactly is his type? Full grown, an abundance of hair, big personality, amazing singer. Well, I can’t claim the amazing singer part, though I was in choir in high school, and I have the medals when I received 1’s for solos to prove it. The rest of the laundry list I can check off with a 100 percent degree of certainty, characteristics that I share with Mr. Kaminski’s crushes.

I confess I’m pretty confident in Mr. Kaminski’s crush conundrum, because the odds of him crossing paths with the only two women he would likely leave me for are slim and none. I just don’t see him running into Ann Wilson at the dry cleaner or at Sam’s Club. I’m not anticipating Janet Jackson dropping her baby off at Gingerbread Kids Academy one morning. I just can’t imagine the likelihood of either scenario transpiring.

We’re a lot alike Ann, Janet and I. We’re all full grown. Well, Janet did go through that skinny spell when she was doing all of those ups – sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups. I don’t do ups. I’ll hurt myself. But I will drink up. I’ve got that down. I believe Janet has gotten over that up phase in her life and is back to her full grown fabulous self. I sure hope so.

Big hair and lots of it. Check for all three of us. I do think I wore it best in that category if it’s a contest. Just sayin’.

Personality-wise it’s clearly a toss up between Ann and I. Janet’s a bit too soft spoken, though she’s an amazing performer, she seems like a wall flower in person. That’s something I’ve never been accused of. Ann, on the other hand, has been called “the badass of rock and roll.” When she got mad at her record company in the mid-70s because they were so sexist, she wrote a poem expressing her outrage. That poem became Heart’s hit song “Barracuda” co-written by Ann and her fellow band mates. It made it to number 11 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. I think Ann and I would be great friends.

Maybe for Valentine’s Day I’ll dig out my singing medals, pin them to my pj’s, tease my hair up real big and play “Crazy on You.” Won’t that make for an interesting Valentine’s Day?

Happy Valentine’s Day! See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski