Posted on Mar 16, 2022 in
On the Porch with Patti
By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Patti Ann and Lisa Ann – past shenanigans. Never a dull moment!
Many places around the world celebrate today as St. Patrick’s Day. The Canadians, Australians, Japanese, of course, the Irish – many don green attire, eat corned beef and cabbage, even drink green beer. Apparently North America – not Ireland, interestingly enough – has the largest of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations with parades in New York and San Francisco and both the Chicago River and the River Walk in San Antonio are dyed green for the day of debauchery. Of course, that was all pre-pandemic, so who knows what this year will bring? But maybe leprechauns are immune to COVID?
Those in the know clearly understand that today is not St. Patrick’s Day; it’s St. Lisa’s Day, because today is Lisa Ann’s birthday. I won’t give you a number, but I look forward to it every year because it’s the time that she finally catches up to me, and I’m not the “oldest.” Well, technically I am, but it makes me feel better nonetheless.
Shenanigans run amuck every year on St. Lisa’s Day, and honestly for much of the month, which we fondly refer to as March Madness. I know y’all thought that phrase referred to college basketball. Let me assure you, that is incorrect. College basketball is quite tame compared to what we girls do to celebrate on the annual.
Past St. Lisa’s Day celebrations could be described as the very definition of bad decisions. Frivolity, fun and fabulous, but arguably, some not so sound decisions in the moment. Celebratory components over the years have included the following: firearms, tequila, hangovers, hang-unders, champagne, extreme and questionable purchases, wine, weight gain, weight loss, Bloody Marys, lost days, lost jewelry, lost minds, missed flights, memorable trips that we can’t quite remember, pub crawls, new friends, old friends, lengthy discussions with law enforcement representatives and broken bones. The Hangover movies have nothing on us, except for maybe the tiger.
The broken bone was last year; it was me. It wasn’t an important bone – a minor one at best. It was a hot springs type thing. There was wine involved. Minor incident comparatively speaking.
This year Lisa Ann is on a boat today in the ocean with no cell service. I’m a bit nervous. A lot could happen in this scenario. At least she’s quite buoyant, so that’s in her favor. I saw her just before she left. I was wearing an adorable maxi dress that she promptly removed from my body so she could wear it for her birthday dinner on the boat. In her defense, it’s super cute. We’re taking her birthday trip in two weeks to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Yep, we’re doing Dollywood. I bought us shirts that say, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” Kind of sums it up, don’t you think?
Those sweet Tennessee folks best get ready because two full-grown Texas girls are headed their way to celebrate. And Lord knows what will happen. But my mantra is preparedness. It’s the reason I keep bail money in my purse at all times for Lisa Ann – just in case.
So, Happy Birthday Lisa Ann! If you go overboard, please take my dress off first. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at facebook.com/patti.parishkaminski and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.
