Posted on Feb 13, 2023 in
On the Porch with Patti
By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Confused or relieved? Happy Valentine’s Day Mr. Kaminski!
If I had to write down everything I knew for certain about love, the manuscript would be about the size of a business card – or smaller. And I tend to be rather verbose, so that’s saying quite a lot.
This love thing is a slippery slope, and when you add in the whole marriage factor, well that’s a beast of an entirely different color if not species. You would think practice makes perfect in this scenario, but I’m not so sure. You see, the rules of engagement in the state of matrimonial bliss are variable – they are constantly changing. Take refrigerators for example. When Mr. Kaminski and I first got married, we went to Sears to purchase a fridge for our new First Colony home. It was the most painful, arduous process I have ever tolerated and that includes childbirth. The choices were mind boggling, the sales associate tedious and it took hours. My roots grew out. It was beyond taxing.
For starters, Mr. Kaminski was building our home while I was still in Austin, so I wasn’t really certain of how big the actual refrigerator space was. And yes, you know I tend to go big. It’s my nature. Fast forward to the delivery, the front door had to be taken off of the hinges to get the apparently enormous appliance in the house, and the wine rack above the fridge had to be taken out and moved up because the dang thing was too tall. From that day forward, I informed Mr. Kaminski that in order to stay married, that would be my last shopping excursion for appliances of any kind. To this day, nearly 29 years later, I have held fast to my proclamation and have not purchased any major appliances. I like to keep my promises.
Knowing my aversion for appliance shopping, when a meaningful appliance breaks in our home, Mr. Kaminski is on it. For years, we had an extra “beverage” refrigerator in our garage for our babies, my adopted babies, the new babies that came along and somehow always ended up at my house – you get the drift. The bottom line was we just always needed an extra fridge for drinks based on consumption and purchasing habits. Since I was not nor ever will be a frequent flyer at the grocery store, when I absolutely had to go, I bought the biggest, most cumbersome quantity of beverage choices as I could so the frequency of returning to said store was drastically diminished. That habit necessitated the need for an extra fridge, and it all worked out.
One day a couple of years ago, the garage fridge, which came with the house over 20 years ago, finally died. It was a sad day, but it was inevitable. Now Mr. Kaminski was “Johnny on the spot” when the dilapidated device finally died, because he knew the drill. “Let me get go another one this weekend,” he very proudly proclaimed. “No, we’re good,” was my reply. To say that he was confused is an understatement.
He broached the subject a couple of more times until I clearly informed him that we no longer needed a garage beverage refrigerator. My plan, while it might be a bit more complicated, was more in line with what we needed right now. The plan went something like this:
- Remove the dog crate from the laundry room. The girls no longer reside with us, and there is no reason to have an empty crate taking up space. When they come to visit, which is rare, we’ll just deal with that when it happens.
- With said empty space, purchase and install an 80-bottle wine refrigerator. I know, that doesn’t sound like it would hold nearly enough, but I measured this space this time, and it was the largest capacity unit that would fit in said space. I’ll just have to make do.
- If we need to chill a Diet Coke, we can throw some of that food stuff out of the kitchen refrigerator.
Utter confusion ensued for Mr. Kaminski, and to upset the apple cart even further, I procured said wine chiller. Now don’t get excited – I ordered it online and had it delivered. I haven’t completely lost my mind.
Better yet, I printed out the receipt, put a bow on it and gave it to Mr. Kaminski for Valentine’s Day – a brand spanking new appliance that he did not have to purchase, pick up or install. See how that all works out? A constantly evolving state of marital bliss. Hope y’all had an amazing Valentine’s Day with your sweethearts! See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
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