Talking Turkey

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Enjoying my turkey made with love – Wild Turkey! Happy Thanksgiving porch sitters!

Every few years or so, the idea of me actually cooking a significantly sized foul rears its ugly head.  I thought I had clearly and succinctly obliterated this lofty notion, but somehow, every so often, the idea of me trying to prepare a turkey around this time of year floats back to the surface.  Now it’s not me who brings up trying the treacherous task.  One guess who the turkey traitor is.  His first name is “Mr.” and his last name rhymes with “risky.”

I’m not a fan of the concept, but it’s really the word “trying” that gets on my nerves.  At my age, I do not try things.  I accomplish things.  I tackle things.  I delve into things.  Trying things?  No longer in my wheelhouse, and certainly not when it comes to culinary trials and tribulations.  I know my talents, and I know my limits.  Talking turkey, I can do.  Brining, cleaning, stuffing, cooking one – not so much.

Tackling a turkey has never been a goal of mine – not even as a young bride and mother.  Just not enough juice for the squeeze for this girl.  First of all, you cannot efficiently purchase one.  It’s trying to procure said bird from the grocer, a place I rarely frequent anyway.  They’re big, they’re cold, they’re heavy, and they contain zero percentage of alcohol content.  That’s enough right there for me to lose interest.

The time investment is another no go for me.  If I’m going to spend eight hours working on anything, I need a check.  The ooh’s and aah’s of a beautifully prepared bird just don’t do it for me.  Now I get that for some of you with amazing culinary talents and an intense desire for the creating the perfect turkey day fare, Thanksgiving is the Super Bowl of holidays.  And I appreciate that, I really do.  I’m just not going to be proclaiming, “Put me in Coach” on this one.  I’d rather stay on the sidelines, call the plays on refreshment fulfillment and enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor.

I hope you and your people enjoy an amazing Thanksgiving feast, including a turkey made with love.  For me, I’ll be enjoying my turkey made with love.  Of course, it will be Wild Turkey.  That’s more my speed.

Happy Thanksgiving porch sitters!  See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski

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