Shoppin’ and Sippin’

Appropriate attire is encouraged when holiday shoppin’ and sippin’. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen…Whiskey, Tequila, Vodka, Blitzen!

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

It’s official porch sitters – the countdown is on! It’s December 1st and we have just 24 days to get those stockings filled and presents under the tree. If you’re like me, a serial planner, you started this holiday hustle and bustle some time ago, but now that the holiday sales and markets abound, I just don’t want to miss out. So, it’s game time!

I have learned a few tips in this holiday hoe down along the way, and perhaps the most important when participating in multi-day, hours-long holiday hustle is in protocol. The key? It’s hydration, and it’s vital.

Case and point: Always up for a grand adventure, Lisa Ann and I, with Mama, Mr. Kaminski and friends in tow, went to the New Braunfels Weihnachtsmarkt – what a word!  No, that is not me sneezing; it’s a thing. Billed as a German holiday market with a twist, I was all in, not to mention it benefitted the Sophienburg Museum & Archives, so shopping, contributing to something good – it was a win/win – just in time for the holidays.

Naturally I began my day well-hydrated with a Diet Coke. Lisa Ann dropped the ball by not having any at the house. She quickly took Mr. Kaminski aside and informed him of her faux paus, and he dashed off in the early am to procure said necessity. Yes, I’m going to have to stay married because I cannot spend another 20-plus years training another man. It’s just not in me.

Once properly caffeinated, we got serious and hydrated as per holiday hustle protocol, which is always champagne. And it’s New Braunfels, so shopping and sipping is encouraged, and there’s literally a bar or booth to procure said spirits on every corner. I feel certain it’s a German thing and quite possibly one of the primary reasons Lisa Ann relocated there. Love that town.

It all works out quite well until you have to pay for something. Now I can multi-task, meaning I can drink, shop, pay and carry, because I have Mr. Kaminski. I mentioned the training thing, right? Lisa Ann not so much, though that precious child of God Mr. Kaminski does his level best to keep her ducks rowed up as well. It’s a big job keeping both of us in line. But here’s how it most often goes: Lisa Ann finds something amazing, makes certain there’s two of them, because I’ll want it as well, and if there’s not two of them, I’ll just take hers. She sets her drink down to purchase said amazing find, finds the appropriate envelope in her purse to extract the funds – it’s a Dave Ramsey thing, it will pass – pays for the amazing find, collects the amazing find and walks off. She leaves her drink, I collect it, take a generous swig and return it to her admonishing her for both leaving it and drinking too much.

It’s our system. It’s what we do. It works for us. This goes on for a few hours, until our designated driver, bag bearer and bonafide babysitter, Mr. Kaminski, decides he better feed us before it gets messy, we max out our credit cards or all of Lisa Ann’s envelopes are empty – including the grocery one. Any of them could – and have – happened.

Cheers porch sitters, and happy hydration this holiday season! See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski

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