Rites of Passage

Many of my babies at my precious Charlton and Caroline’s wedding – a rite of passage. Love them all!

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Rites of passage are a huge deal. In my personal definition, they are joyous occasions. Sure, I realize that there are negative rites of passage, but I like my definition better as I choose to focus on them as a positive. I understand that they are transitional, in essence an event that changes a person’s life, and they are B-I-G!

As my babies have become young adults, it seems rites of passage occur more frequently with them and their tribes. Attending the same school from kindergarten to 12th grade, I’ve had a front-row seat to the cinema of Kassidi and Kolton’s lifelong friends as they have grown up alongside my babies. New friends came into their lives along the way to join the journey, but many have been with them since they were five and six-years-old. Frankly, I consider them all my babies, and I feel it’s a privilege to see them grow as I have a special place in my momma heart for each and every one of them, even though at times I have wanted to both whip and ground them. And yes, I’ve done both to many of them – not just my own. Just ask them.

It’s the very definition of bittersweet watching these babies fly, which is exactly what we teach them to do. We pray that they reach for the stars, and we equip them with as many resources as we possibly can to do just that. We love them through thick and thin and are devoted to their well-being. They succeed, they grow, they shine, and we stand on the sideline proudly with tears in our eyes that we can’t control nor explain. They’ve done what we’ve raised them to do, and part of our hearts are missing because they have flown. It’s a rite of passage. And God forbid if the daddies try to interject on our heartache. Our men have so many amazing qualities and attributes, but I firmly believe they are just not equipped to fully comprehend a momma’s heart and the depth and breadth of its unwavering love – not to mention our steel trap memory. Gentlemen, walk away.

Women are complicated entities, and we embrace that. We can laugh and cry and be happy and sad at the same time. We’re gifted like that; we can multi-task. Some men have pondered women and our innate state of being, and I believe some have gotten close to figuring us out. Sir William Golding said, “I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”

Yep, Sir Billy gets us. He was married, had two kids – even won the Nobel Prize in 1983 for literature. He also wrote Rites of Passage and in 1980 won the Booker Prize for that novel. Think I’ll read that and see how he defines rites of passage. He may just have a perspective I can appreciate. See y’all next week – on the porch!


Patti Parish-Kaminski

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