My Truths

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

You know how when you were young, you were absolutely 100 percent certain you knew everything? I mean you exuded confidence in your vast knowledge and informed your parents frequently of your know-it-all encyclopedic enlightenment. No one could tell you nothing because you knew it all.

Then you hit your twenties and learned about evil things, such as automobile insurance, mortgages and the fact that when you presented a credit card to pay for something, a follow-up bill found you and payment at some point down the road was not only required, but would cost you more if you did not remit in a timely fashion. It was about that time you realized you really didn’t know much at all.

The older I get the more I realize that I really don’t know that much for certain. I mean quantum physics eludes me. I don’t understand how airplanes work; I just know how to book a ticket on one, or rather I used to back when I had a travel agent. Now I just ask Mr. Kaminski or Lisa Ann to do it for me, because you apparently have to get on a kayak and do it rather expediently, as well as be bilingual so you can trivago. And here’s the kicker. You no longer receive a ticket and boarding pass with a nicely presented, comprehensive dossier. You receive an e-mail buried deeply in your inbox that you must screen shot – what? – locate in a timely fashion and present on your phone at the airport while managing all of your travel accoutrements, get undressed and felt up. I just can’t do all that. It’s one of the reasons I’m not allowed to travel alone. Yes, there are others.

There are, however, a few things I do know for certain at this juncture in my well-traveled, yet always accompanied by an adult, life that I thought worthy of sharing with my fellow porch sitters. My truths, if you will, at age 50ish:

  1. Life is way too short to drink cheap wine.
  2. Being kind to someone gives you so much more than it gives them.
  3. The first 40 years of life go by in a hot flash – literally.
  4. Replacing the roll of toilet paper is exceedingly easy; however, apparently the genetic make-up of a man deems it impossible for those of the masculine persuasion to accomplish.
  5. Exercising for fun is not a real thing.
  6. Traveling with children at any age is in no way, shape or form a vacation. It can be a fun, memorable excursion, but it cannot be described as a vacay, because whether they are 2 or 20, you will always worry, and they will always need something no one packed that requires a Herculean effort to procure.
  7. Managing your expectations is the best way to never be disappointed. This is not mine, and I don’t like it, but it’s the gospel. This is Dee Dee, and it’s been a hard truth to accept. Clearly, she’s one of the smartest people I know. I’m stunned she still accepts my phone calls.
  8. Digital maps will fail you. It’s a given. Buy yourself a full-size Rand McNally and keep it in your vehicle at all times. It will never let you down.
  9. The tape on the straw hole of a drive-thru daquiri is just for show.
  10. I am blessed as I truly love a lot of people. A few of them love me back, and even fewer love me unconditionally. These are my people

See y’all next week – on the porch!


Patti Parish-Kaminski

Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at and on Instagram at