Life Without a Manual


By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Sound medical advice: “Use some tweezers.” Not the best way to start my day.

It continues to perplex me that as we reach particular milestones in life, there are no instructions.  No booklet, no pamphlet, no next chapter that says “this is how you deal with this situation as it’s coming.”  Nada.

I felt like that when I had Kassidi.  Sure, Mr. Kaminski and I took the “baby” class at the hospital.  But other than learning to wrap her like a burrito, I didn’t glean much from the experience.  When we checked out of the hospital, I fully expected an instruction manual with handy tabs addressing everything baby.  What I got was a hospital baby blanket, a ride in a wheelchair and a baby sans instruction.

I’m feeling the same way as I slide down the slippery slope of my fifties.  Case and point:  This weekend I took a little break from daily makeup.  Sure, I still did the face washing and application of creams for this and that, but I didn’t sit down and take a minute to review my facial situation.  Three days later upon close inspection, I find the horror, and I was not at all prepared for the invasion.  Several black hairs were sprouting on my chiny, chin, chin!  What?!?  So now I’m growing a beard?

I’ve always been blessed in the hair department, but chin hair?  No thank you, and who the heck knew that was on the horizon?  I immediately did what I always do when daunting dilemmas rear their ugly head:  I texted Dee Dee.

Me:  Ummmm, black chin hairs.  Multiple.  What is that about?!?!

Dee Dee:  Life.  Use some tweezers.

Me:  Nobody told me that was a thing?!?!

Dee Dee:  It’s a thing.

So, this chin hair situation is confirmed – by a bonafide medical professional – with a mere three-word resolution.  Not one to ignore medical advice, I commenced to tweezing.  But here’s the thing, apparently it takes a particular type of tweezer to be effective.  And, it smarts.

Twenty minutes and three pairs of tweezers later, I am currently chin hair free – I think.  It’s hard to tell now that my chin is swollen and ruddy.  Much to my dismay, a cursory search of this particular affliction indicates this chin hair free situation is not permanent.  Worst of all, I have learned that the reoccurrence depends on your hair type and its growth rate.  Y’all have seen my hair.  I’m anticipating a beard for the winter.  See y’all next week – on the porch!


Patti Parish-Kaminski

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