Life, Loyalty & Libations

Not a Diet Pepsi girl. Trust me – I’m loyal to Diet Coke or what I lovingly refer to as “Nectar of the Gods.”

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Sharin’, sippin’ and spillin’ the tea. Those are the words that are reminiscent of my childhood guided by wise women. And those were the words that came to me when I decided to write On the Porch with Patti. Those words wove the fabric of my youth, and it’s where I both learned and experienced security within an impenetrable circle of trust, because no matter what happened in this little thing we call life, the circle of trust with these fearless females was the one sure thing. You could bet on it; you could count on it. And yes, there were a few other things you could count on. The sun would still rise in the morning, there would still be peas to shell every summer, and the circle of trust was a fortress never to be broken.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that trust is hard – much harder than I thought as a child. I learned this lesson in particular from three of the leading ladies who helped raise me: Mother, Mawmaw and Nonnie. They were – and are – all smart, loving, skeptical women – and with good cause. You’ve heard the phrase, “My momma didn’t raise no fool.” These ladies were anything but foolish, and I learned from them that while trust is hard, truth and loyalty are even harder.

I honestly can’t put my finger on why that is. Of course, I am a very black and white person. I don’t see gray, I don’t wear gray, and I don’t get people who live in the gray zone. I see a clear-cut path regardless of the issue; it’s either one way or the other. I’m not wishy-washy. I’m definitive. I have no issues making decisions. I’m not a serial shopper that labors over purchasing the shoes in black, red or leopard print. If I like the shoes, I buy them in all pertinent colors. Done.

When we have had huge decisions in our marriage, my definitive nature has shined. It drives Tim Kaminski crazy. He’s gray. Mr. Kaminski can see – and argue – both sides of the story. By the time he has finished reviewing all sides of said story, the decision has been made, and I have moved on to the next issue at hand.

After all of these years, he’s finally learned. I don’t think that he necessarily “trusts” my decisions; he simply doesn’t want to devote the time and considerable effort to arguing with me – a battle that he is in all likelihood not going to win. That, my friends, is what is called a smart man.

The critical lesson learned growing up from these wise warriors was, of course, loyalty, and it was revered. You could count on your people, and they could count on you. You could complain all you wanted to about your momma or your husband, but don’t let somebody else do it. Those were fighting words. Still are in my book.

You hear the word “loyalty” tossed around a lot today. There are businesses with loyalty programs or rewards for being a repeat customer – or offender – however you choose to look at it. There’s brand loyalty for sticking with Ford instead of crossing over to Dodge. And there’s the ever-popular loyal subjects if you are on the other side of the pond, though I question how “loyal” their subjects are to the royal family these days.

As definitive as I am, I am perhaps even more loyal – in a fierce kind of way. My people – my motherly matriarchs – were and are that way too. Guess it’s true – the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. So, don’t try to make me drink Diet Pepsi when you know Diet Coke is my jam. It’s just not gonna happen.

See y’all next week – on the porch!


Patti Parish-Kaminski

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