Posted on Aug 9, 2023 in
On the Porch with Patti
By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Lucas and I at a luau on Island Time. We waited for nearly two hours for the festivities to commence. Aloha!
Island Time is a thing, and I for one, am not here for it. I tend to view things black and white by nature, and the entire concept of Island Time is extremely gray. And worse, it varies depending on who you ask. It’s downright maddening for a girl who has an affinity for itineraries, punctuality and planning.
On a recent jaunt nearly as far West as you can go and still be in the good old U S of A – Hawaii – I ran smack dab into the concept of Island Time, and it was a full-on collision. Unfortunately, I tend to be timely, and patience is not one of my virtues. I do not wait well, and Island Time is all about waiting.
You see, I’m busy, very busy. Even though my babies are grown and flown, my schedule remains hectic managing my business, my clients, Mr. Kaminski, our home, our social schedule, our community commitments, our finances – basically the Kaminski universe. I’m the person who always has reservations so I don’t waste a moment of time waiting, because I always have something to do. And if I don’t have some productive to do, I find something productive to do. I make reservations for dinner, for dropping off Bonita, for appointments (which I absolutely always confirm), for business calls, hotels, attending events, Ubers – you name it. If I can schedule it in advance or reserve it, it’s done.
So, you can just imagine how the fluid concept of Island Time does not compute in my little brain. After being told multiple times when inquiring about start times for various activities in the Aloha-state, “around -insert number- it’s island time” I did what I deemed any normal person would do. I looked up the term so I had a clear understanding of what the islanders were talking about. After all, I was on their turf. I needed to understand their vernacular.
I had already been schooled in the three meanings of “aloha” – hello, goodbye and I love you – so I was prepared for a multiple meaning situation. The Urban Dictionary said this about Island Time:
“The time vacuum created by the ocean’s presence. Similar to stoner’s time, everything moves nice and slow. This carefree aura even has the ability to travel with islanders and can engulf you in their presence.”
What? It’s the ocean’s fault, and the ocean has an aura? Not buying that, so I pressed on. The next definition I discovered stated: “The entire point of Island Time is that the current time really has little to no meaning for you at all.”
Time has no meaning. I’ll mention that to United when I saunter to the gate an hour late for my flight. I’m sure they’ll understand.
Still unsatisfied, my quest for the true meaning of Island Time continued. “Island Time is the Time zone of people of pacific island decent, normally runs ten minutes behind real time.”
There it is. Finally, something I can understand – a ten-minute differential. Funny how ten minutes turns into sixty in Island Time. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
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