Posted on Sep 15, 2021 in
On the Porch with Patti
Finally, a Fierce & Fabulous Soiree’ benefitting Houston Petset – my gala debut after a very long year!
By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
It finally happened. Now I’m not saying that I wasn’t optimistic. I knew the day would come; I just didn’t think it was going to happen any time soon.
My dear friend Susan DeBakey called and asked Mr. Kaminski and I to join her and sweet husband Denis at a real live gala – in town – at a gorgeous venue. You know the kind where you wear fancy clothes, real shoes and consume copious amounts of champagne? Now I love Susan and Denis, and it hurt my heart to have to tell them “no,” but I knew from previous experience that Mr. Kaminski wouldn’t have it. And add in the fact that he would have to wear a tux, well, I just knew that was a no go.
So, I tearfully told my friend I was still on lockdown sans the ankle monitor and declined her lovely invitation. I was pretty bummed. After all, I clean up well. I knew I still had it in me. I casually mentioned this declined opportunity later that evening after plying Mr. Kaminski with a couple of glasses of wine. Don’t judge; a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. To my utter shock and awe, he did a complete about face on me and said of course we would go. Or he was tipsy. I’ll go with either as the outcome was in my favor and that’s all that really matters.
In his defense, he knew I had not seen Susan in over a year, and he knew that was heavy on my heart. Well, I texted her immediately, dug through the dusty ball gown section of my closet and so the preparations began. I was thrilled to discover an unworn gown with said tags still affixed only to find it was too big. That is not a typo. It was too big! I took it to my tailor – hadn’t seen her in a year either – was delighted she was still alive, and had it taken in.
Gala Glam: Patti, Jill and Susan supporting Houston Petset.
On the eve of the big night, I left the office early to get myself together. I knew it was going to take a minute because I wasn’t even certain what “getting myself gala ready” entailed any more. I was certain it would be a chore, and I allotted two hours just to be safe. I was gala giddy.
The make-up was sparkly, the hair was high to the heavens and the dress fit like a glove. It was all going well until the final accoutrement phase. Bag, check. Shoes, check. Diamond necklace. Uh, oh.
I knew I had it. I knew Mr. Kaminski had purchased it for me because for some odd reason he likes staying married to me. I also knew that I hadn’t worn it in over a year, and I knew that I had “hid” it to keep it safe. And indeed, it was safe – very, very safe.
As Pooh would say, “Think, think, think, think,” and that’s exactly what I did. I also tore up at least two rooms in our home much to Mr. Kaminski’s chagrin. This little Hurricane Nicholas we had this week had nothing on the destruction I caused.
With time ticking away and my beautiful hairdo quickly becoming a hair-don’t in all of the chaos, I emerged from a belly crawl in the depths of a closet with a tennis shoe in hand. Mr. Kaminski looked at me quite puzzled knowing that I was in search of the holy grail and emerged with an old tennis shoe. I promptly turned the show over and voila – out fell my necklace. Mr. Kaminski simply grinned, and said, “Let me know when you’re ready.” The man is brilliant.
Guess I’ll have to find a new hiding place now, and figure out a way to secretly document it. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at facebook.com/patti.parishkaminski and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.
