Consorting with the Queen | Fort Bend Focus Magazine

This wearing a tiara thing is tough. Now I know why Queen Elizabeth kept her hair short.

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

I love the queen. I love everything about her – the pastel-colored outfits with matching hats, shoes and cute little handbags that held her sandwich that she shared with Paddington Bear. The fact that people randomly gave her flowers as she walked by. Her curt and sharp wit. I especially love that when she so much as uttered a sound, people stopped in their tracks and listened. The reverence and respect she commanded was like none other in modern times. And the tiaras – not to mention the actual crowns! Well, the tiaras were over the top, and she wore them oh so well, not to mention the crown jewels.

Queen Elizabeth II will always be the ultimate bad ass woman in my book. She outshined all modern dignitaries with her impeccable manners, lack of social media faux paus, absence of drunken stupors, outlandish escapades and such and her total incapability of verbal mishaps. Sure, she inherited this queen gig at a very early age, but she made it her own without all of the nonsense that so many public figures today put on display for all the world to see. Her Royal Majesty represented with grace, style and dignity – despite the ginormous missteps of her extended fam. I can only imagine the tongue lashing she gave some of the randy royals behind closed doors. Oh, to be a fly on those palace walls!

This week I’ve heard the word “consort” a great deal in reference to the now King Charles’ bride. Something about that word just rubs me wrong. It has negative connotations in my mind – a rather sordid perception, and given Camilla and Charlie’s history, I just had to do a deep dive on the term.

Apparently, Prince Charles, now King Charles, a gig he’s interned over 70 years for, is married to a woman who will now be referred to as the “Queen Consort.” And that was the Queen’s doing giving her that title when baby boy becomes King, which basically says Camilla isn’t in line to be the actual Queen, she’s simply married to the real King, but she can be styled as Queen, but really she’s not. She’s a consort.

The official definition of a consort is “primarily to provide companionship and moral and practical support to the Monarch.” Moral support? Might need to work on that one considering the genesis of Camilla and Charlie’s relationship. But Princess Diana did say Camilla was a team player and support is important when being a consort: “Well there were three of us in this marriage so it was a bit crowded.”

The more I think about it, I think I’m likely right about the whole consort thing. And more importantly, I think Queen Elizabeth knew exactly what she was doing when she donned Camilla with the title Queen Consort. Sure, it’s supposed to be an honor to be bestowed with the escort – I mean consort – title. But isn’t it just like Queen Elizabeth to tie up all loose ends in a nice pastel-colored bow to make certain things are just the way she would want them to be for the future – no questions asked? The Queen has spoken. God save the Queen.

See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski