By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
I can see my office. I just can’t get up there!
Sometimes late at night if I’m scrolling through the Ticky Tok, I can be persuaded. This persuasion can be to follow someone, to send Ticky Toks to friends and at times, to actually purchase something. The latter was the case last week when I purchased what I knew would be the answer to my continued weight loss journey with an extra of toning on the side: Wall Pilates.
All you need is a wall and 15 minutes every day was the pitch. I have a wall. I have lots of walls. No other equipment required, well, except for a credit card, and that’s okay because Mr. Kaminski has those, and I know the digits.
Now I had Pilates on the brain as my girlfriend Gena mentioned that she had started Pilates and liked it. Ergo, I blame her for this entire debacle.
Day one, first rattle out of the box, the 15-minute thing presented a challenge. After locating the perfect wall and creating a brace of books for my cell phone to stand up where I could actually see the workout, I was locked and loaded. I downloaded Day One (I only committed to 30 days – a girl can only do so much) and commenced on my journey to fit and fabulous.
The journey lasted three minutes before my phone rang. It was a client, so of course, I abandoned my fitness foray and answered the phone. When I work, I tend to be quite focused, so before I knew it, two hours had gone by, and I still owed my pilates pal 12 minutes of wall wrangling.
I initiated a complete redo on Day One in the afternoon, and it wasn’t horrendous. I understood the assignment completely on the wall equipment as that’s the only thing that kept from falling on my backside at least twice. I have to say, I was pretty proud of myself.
Fast forward to that evening and I mention to Mr. Kaminski that I had started a new exercise program. Crickets.
The next day, I embarked on Day Two. It was getting little out of hand already. It was glute day. I didn’t even know I had glutes. Apparently, I do, and they hurt – really, really hurt – tear-forming type pain – when put into precarious positions.
Day Three getting out of bed was a situation. Then going upstairs to my office was a futile effort. I stood at the bottom and stared up for what seemed like an eternity. Why in the world did I think moving my office upstairs was a good idea?
I grunted, groaned, cursed and prayed my way up to my office. The upward battle took a minute, and I wasn’t here for it.
Frankly I was stunned that only 15 minutes each day could affect me so, and I was both affected and afflicted. Later that day, Mr. Kaminski and I got in his SUV to head out for the weekend. Getting in was like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro without a sherpa. I stepped up on the running board, grabbed the handrail and pushed and pulled with all of my might. Mr. Kaminski glanced in my direction. It was at that moment – three days later – that he decided to comment on my new workout routine.
“So, you mentioned the other night that you had started working out,” he queried. “Are you going somewhere?” He does that; delayed response.
I explained the Wall Pilates concept to him and that yesterday was glute day. I was not blooming where I was planted due to glute day.
“Aren’t you proud of me?” I asked.
“I’m scared,” he replied in earnest with a sly grin. “I know you’re going to hurt yourself, and it’s gonna be bad.”
“Too late,” I retorted.
I haven’t gotten past Day Four of my newfound nemesis, and it’s been seven days since I started. A girl needs a break when embarking on new activities. We’ll see what the next week brings. See y’all next week – on the porch!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnThePorchWithPatti/ and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.
