The Art of Aging

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By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

I kicked off my 59^th year with words.  I know, shocking.  But the origin of the words is what is perhaps the most bizarre.

At the stroke of midnight on the big day, I found myself both reading and digesting an incredible book – one that I had never read before.  Given the eve of the occasion, the title intrigued me.  After all, aging is war, and Mr. Kaminski insists I tend to be aggressive, so “The Art of War” fit right in my wheelhouse.  Now, I prefer to think of my mindset as prepared tenacity in lieu of aggressive, but that’s an entirely different subject.

So, if aging is war, I’m gonna be ready to win the battle.  Prepared tenacity in practice. Frankly, life can be war – or at least war-torn – so I decided it would be a good idea for me to learn as much about warfare as possible at this particular moment.  Sun Tzu came in clutch with his tidbits of knowledge when battling the supreme enemies, which I feel are absolutely associated with another year of aging.  His pearls of wisdom were downright compelling.

“Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.”  Take that, wrinkles.  I choose not to fight you; I choose to break your resistance with supreme excellence in skin care products.

“The way to avoid what is strong is to strike what is weak.”  Bye-bye gray hair, you weakling.  Loreal No. 9 is clearly the stronger adversary.  She can take you out in an hour; it takes you months to bounce back.

“All warfare is based on deception.”  Make-up, war paint, Spandex, dark colors.  It’s all warfare, and thankfully deceptive.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” Clearly this refers to dim lighting and statement dressing.

“Never venture, never win!”  This describes virtually every ensemble I assemble – and wear proudly.

“The worst calamities that befall an army arise from hesitation.”  Don’t think about it.  Eat the cake, buy the bag, order the shoes in every color.  Life is too short to hesitate.

It’s a shame Sun Tzu is no longer around.  I feel we could have been great friends – him being aggressive and me yielding prepared tenacity.  I think I’ll adopt his mantra for my 59^th year:  “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”  Of course, the quote for the year came from the mouth of a babe: “Thank you for living another year.”  Right back at ya, Jackypoo.  See y’all next week – on the porch!

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Patti Parish-Kaminski

Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnThePorchWithPatti/ and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.

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