Posted on Mar 3, 2021 in
On the Porch with Patti
Lisa Ann anointing me with a crown as big as my hair.
By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Growing up, I was surrounded by matriarchs. Sure, we had male figures in our family, but the queens ruled unabashedly and quite proudly. They were a benevolent bunch and frankly forces to be reckoned with. I like to think that the apple didn’t fall very far from the tree – on the benevolent part. And yes, there are those who would argue the force to be reckoned with part might hold water. I prefer to think I’m precious until pushed.
Perhaps the most poignant lesson learned from my female forces was that real women lift up other women. There was no room for jealousy, pride or pettiness among women. There was enough of that business dealing with men, so as women, it was our lot in life to not only raise strong, smart, beautiful, kind women but to be a support to women in general. I often think that’s one of the unique qualities about the community we live in. There are so many strong, smart, beautiful, kind women who take immense pride in bettering our community. They build businesses, raise families and give back freely and willingly. As a woman, you feel obligated – empowered even – to help lift them and their causes up for the greater good.
Women are caretakers; we take care of everything in our kingdom. As I am writing these words, Annie May and Lillie June came to get me in my study because they wanted to go out. As I took them to the back door – four rooms away – Tim Kaminski was sitting right beside the door – less than two feet from it. Did they ask daddy to go out? No, they came to get momma. Case and point.
March has been designated at Women’s History Month. And women have a long-standing significant history in our country that goes back far beyond the three generations of powerful women in my family – the three generations I had the privilege to not only know, but learn from. This year’s theme for Women’s History Month is “Valiant Women of the Vote: Refusing to Be Silenced.” I find that ironic given the bunch that I grew up with. Silenced? Not likely – unless you’re talking about the men. My male cousins learned early on that silence was indeed golden, and it if was time to vote – on any matter – I assure you my female predecessors were there in their Sunday best doing just that.
But seriously, female relationships can be precarious, but despite that slippery slope, they are most treasured and valued. So, here’s my tips, and I hope the gentlemen are paying attention too, because this sage advice is like a check – you can take it to the bank and cash it. First, never negate a female’s feelings. If we are feeling a certain kind of way about something, it’s 100 percent valid. Doesn’t matter if you agree or not. It’s reality. Second, always lead with “I’m sorry” if your girl feels hurt. Doesn’t matter who did the hurting; be the one to apologize upfront then work out the specifics later. You’ll come out better in the long run. And when it comes to fixing each other up, just last Saturday I was sitting across a table from Lisa Ann who had some dark substance stuck in her front tooth. I told her to grin really big, reached across the table and picked it out post-haste. Because remember ladies, real queens fix each other’s crowns.
See y’all next week – on the porch!
