“Dry January?”


By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Keeping everyone – especially me – safe and sane in January.

I understand that at any given time, I am likely not the smartest person in the room.  I’m good with that.  I really enjoy talking with folks who possess a different skillset than I do.  I still love to learn, and I will ask a gazillion questions.  It’s why I read so much.  But there is something this month that I just can’t wrap my head around.  It’s called “Dry January.”

From what I can glean, the concept of “Dry January” is a break – an opportunity to reset your body, improve your mental clarity and establish healthier habits.  I need all that, but here’s the rub.  I have just set my goals, resolutions if you will, for the new year, and now I must make a concerted effort to achieve those goals without wine?  That just seems counterproductive to me.  And frankly, unsafe – for my people.

A quick overview of my three 2025 resolutions will attest to the fact that if I give up wine in January, it’s on.  And not in a good way.

Resolution #1:  For example, I resolve to be more tolerant and empathetic of folks in general this year.  That means when I am faced with abject rudeness, stupidity, laziness and/or just plain meanness, I resolve to suppress my killer instincts, and instead, kill them with kindness.  I resolve to refrain from subjecting a body to a tongue-lashing that leaves them in a fetal position.  And I’m supposed to do that without wine?  Not a safe move.

Resolution #2:  I further resolve to be the best person I can be.  I know that’s a bit subjective and likely requires a more significant definition of said characteristics, but I’m trying to achieve my goals, so I need a little wiggle room.  I did give up the goal of being thin and pleasant long ago – neither sustainable for this girl.  What I do know is that I cannot maintain any level of sweetness – being my best self – without letting off some steam, which means a two glass minimum, at the end of the day.  Mawmaw always told me to “be sweet.”  Just ain’t happening on the wagon.

Resolution #3:  My final resolution is to make things happen by being proactive.  Now that’s a slippery slope, because I tend to be aggressive as it is, so for me to make an even more concerted effort to devise plans and act on them for the future could be deemed a bit unnerving.  Not for me, of course, but certainly for Mr. Kaminski.

Now I’m not saying I’m opposed to trying the concept of “Dry January,” but January just isn’t going to work for me.  In addition to kicking off my annual resolutions in a manner that guarantees success, there are government deadlines, goal-setting, undecking the halls, gift-returning, deep cleaning, purging – it’s a lot, and it’s stressful.  I think it would be better for me if I eased into this social experiment.  I’m thinking “Dry February.”  After all, it’s the shortest month of the year thereby assuring success – and 2025 is NOT a leap year, so there’s no pesky day 29.  Only 28 days of mental clarity and resetting.  This I can do.  Y’all pray for Mr. Kaminski.  I’m not sure he can tolerate much more clarity and focus from yours truly.  See y’all next week – on the porch!


Patti Parish-Kaminski

Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnThePorchWithPatti/ and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.