By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher
Apparently the Swiffer brand uses the “razor-and-blades” business model meaning the consumer purchases the handle at a low price but must continue to purchase replacement refills over the lifespan of the product. Swiffer is a half-billion dollar brand in 15 countries. Now that kind of clean up I understand.
Much like the culinary arts, domesticity has always eluded me. Just so we’re clear, it is not my fault. I was raised by a mother who worked outside of the home always, and in her infinite wisdom, procured people to take care of the house, the child, the yard, the cars, etc. I call that capitalizing on your resources.
Ergo, I never really learned how to do much when it came to being a housewife. Good thing I never became one.
I was raised as an only child by entrepreneurs, so I learned what they lived: business. I could review an aging schedule at a very early age and make collection calls on accounts receivable. In case you’re wondering, when a 12-year-old calls you about your past due balance, it’s most effective.
I figured out how to raise my babies and manage all that a home entails because I read – a lot – and I planned like a military strategist. I went to the grocery store once a week without fail, an errand I absolutely loathed. Still do. I planned for the entire week and all in my household knew that if they wanted a particular something from the grocer, they had best put it on the list on the fridge or it would be another full week before said item was procured.
I was in a carpool – thank sweet baby Jesus – as Mr. Kaminski traveled quite a bit for his job, and I had the monthly schedule of carpool planned out. I worked while the kids were at school, after they went to bed every night and at times, on weekends.
I attended all of my kids’ events, plays, field trips, games – you name it. And often I was the room mom and coordinated snack schedules and such for sports’ teams, along with traveling with them, laptop in tow so I could sneak in some work in between brackets. I’ve written many stories on a bus with the entire girls’ basketball team.
I helped my babies with homework, projects – not our favorite thing – and all things school and such. I managed the doctor’s appointments, unscheduled illnesses, practices and haircuts. I was like a general plotting to win the war but without lieutenants for delegation purposes.
This precise schedule left little time for me to actually keep a house, so I did what my mother did: procured expert assistance. Fortunately, I had dear Sandra for nearly 20 years. Without her, I never would have made it.
Unfortunately, I still didn’t learn much when it came to the house keeping situation. If I had an issue, Sandra fixed it. To this day, I still don’t own a vacuum cleaner in Fort Bend.
Fast forward to my westward hiatus this holiday season, and I find myself in the awkward situation of domestic duties. As I decorate, I find more and more that needs a good cleaning, so silly me, I jumped right in. And apparently, we have multiple accoutrements to accomplish said cleaning thanks to Mr. Kaminski.
All I can say is I wish these janitorial products came with better instructions, because frankly, they seem to require a Ph D in cleaning to both put together and operate properly. Think I’ll stick to the things I can do best: making brilliant, beautiful babies and money.
See y’all next week – on the porch! Ho, ho hugs!
Patti Parish-Kaminski
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