Construction Chaos

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By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

As women, we are expected to wear many hats.  We’re not just wives, mothers, businesswomen, community leaders, philanthropists, chefs, property managers, housekeepers, HR directors, laundresses, mediators – we’re a combination of all it requires to exist in our worlds at any given time depending on the season.

Now I’ve read about some men who do the multiple hat thing as we women have perfected; however, I’ve never met one in the wild.  I’m thinking that might be one of those Brothers Grimm fairy tales, such as Cinderella, Snow White and the likes.

My hat-wearing days have recently evolved in a rather unexpected manner due to the season of my life.  It’s brought a whole new meaning to phrase “rise to the occasion.”  I’m rising alright, but I need a really tall ladder for this one.

With what I deemed a simple construction project has turned me into a general contractor, interior designer and engineer extraordinaire.  It’s a lot, and none of these professions are firmly planted in my wheelhouse.  Math is hard, really hard.  And this building thing is a lot more complicated than it looks.

I blame Joanna Gaines, Erin Napier and all of the DIY folks on tv.  They make it look so easy.  I have no Chip or Ben, nor any of those HGTV gurus who make this building/renovation/construction thing look so easy.  It’s not easy.  They lie.

I sketch and point and select samples and share visions just like Joanna and Erin, but the outcome has not been the same.  Mr. Kaminski doesn’t respond with a wall unit of shelves built in a day or a stone hearth erected with his two little hands.  It’s just not happening like it’s supposed to.  Good help is really hard to find.

At this point, I’ve been to Lowe’s multiple times.  Y’all know I hate that.  The employees there know I hate it.  I’m very transparent.  By now, several of the Lowe’s folks know me as I come stomping in with my rubber boots, tape measure and huge pink bag full of construction essentials.  They know I will stand in an aisle and holler at the top of my lungs, “Help!” when requiring, you guessed it, help.  Somebody typically comes running either toward or away from me, depending on the day.  I refuse to hunt them down.  They’ll come, eventually, or I’ll keep hollerin’.

Of course, my favorite hardware hero, employed at the store for over 10 years as his nametag proudly displays, gave me sage advice while inquiring about the specifications of a coded door lock.  “Just YouTube it,” were his profound words of wisdom.  That after ten years tenure. Wow.

I don’t have a complete vision of how this construction chaos with me at the helm is going to turn out, but I did buy a gorgeous chandelier to hang in my office.  It’s pretty and sparkly.  Now I just have to procure a professional to hang it.  See y’all next week – on the porch!

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Patti Parish-Kaminski

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