By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

High dollar bananas – really?
Now that Mr. Kaminski and I have relocated to Green Acres, things require a bit more pondering and planning. For example, this morning I woke up with a fresh cold, as my Nanny would call it. Now I have no idea what differentiates a fresh cold from a stale cold, but nonetheless, I arose with a fresh cold.
With all the sneezing and coughing and nose running and headache, I began foraging for some cold medicine as I had a full day of work and zooming. I looked high and low and came up empty. Now in the past, I would have just run down the street to the Walgreens and remedied the situation immediately. Not quite as easy in Green Acres.
Now I do have one neighbor within walking distance, one that is not a donkey or a horse or a peacock or a guinea hen or a squirrel or a cat and might actually have some cold medicine. And her sweet daughter comes out daily and pretty much stays the day working from her momma’s home. But with the cold snap, she was promptly relocated and her house empty, so borrowing wasn’t an option.
Needing some food since Mr. Kaminski’s trip to DC got canceled what with the government shutdown and all, I swallowed some aspirin and Emergen-C vitamin drink mix, which is nasty, by the way, and went on about my day. I knew the Dollar General down the street wouldn’t have what all Mr. Kaminski would need in sustenance for the week, because I had already been there on Saturday trying to make do. Heck, I could eat cheese and crackers for a week and be just fine. Mr. Kaminski, not so much.
I finished my afternoon call, gathered my list lest I forget something and headed to the closest grocery store, only 10 miles away. I wasn’t up for my usual trek to the Kroger, which I love but is farther. Closer was the Walmart, which I do not love.
I gathered my meager supplies and was finishing up my foraging excursion when it happened. I was in produce getting Mr. Kaminski some bananas. He loves to have a banana with his breakfast every morning, and I don’t have to cook it, prepare it or peel it, so I’m in.
Now I mentioned I had a fresh cold, and I had to go to Walmart. That’s two strikes right there. I rolled past the bananas and kept going because clearly these were the organic bananas. I knew that because they were 52 cents per pound – had to the fancy ones. I circled – twice – and could not locate any other banana offerings. I came back around only to discover that these were NOT organic; they were regular old everyday bananas.
I began to protest somewhat loudly. Fortunately, the produce manager, along with the entire produce department, was having a meeting right then and there. I clearly and concisely shared my protestations over 50 plus cent per pound bananas.
“These should be only 40 cents tops,” I objected. “At the Kroger that’s what they cost. I take exception to 50 cent bananas. And furthermore, so many of your shelves are bare. Are y’all not paying your vendors?”
The manager was shook. He really didn’t have an answer for any of my inquiries other than “weather.”
Mr. Kaminski called me as I was leaving the parking lot. I recounted the story as now I had a fresh cold, had gone to the Walmart and was aggravated.
“Well, do I have bananas?” he queried.
“Oh, I bought them because I love you like that, but I did so under protest. And the entire store knew of my protestation,” I assured him.
“I don’t understand how Walmart thinks people are going to feed their families healthy food,” I labored on. “What if somebody has a bunch of banana-eating kids? It is not okay to price gouge bananas.”
“Did you get you some medicine?” He was trying to get me off of the banana soap box.
“Yes, and it was expensive too and incredibly difficult to find. I’m going home after I get me a Diet Coke to calm my nerves. I’m just not a Walmart girl,” I informed Mr. Kaminski as I sat in the drive thru line at McDonald’s. I’m telling y’all now, he best eat every one of those high dollar bananas. See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski
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