The Inequities of It All | Fort Bend Focus Magazine

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

Trying to figure out what, where and how to shave?

For centuries women have fought for equality. Equality with their male counterparts. But here’s the rub. Men and women are not equal. The female species is far superior to the male species, which is precisely why men have fought so vehemently for decades to assert their dominance. They’ve been fighting for the right to be number one for years. After all, the underdog always has to fight the hardest. Bless their hearts.

It’s just more complicated to be a woman, more complex to maintain that gold medal, first class platinum status. We are more intricate beings with a plethora of attitudes, wittitudes, emotions and the like. It takes us more of a minute as we multi-task, lead, love and achieve – all in three-inch heels, full make up, sporting six figure careers, bearing and rearing the babies, running households and groomed to perfection. Meanwhile, men go to work.

Take make up for example. Over 7,000 years ago, the genesis of wearing make up began with the Egyptians – worn by both men and women. Fast forward to today, women still participate in the appearance enhancing, youth preserving rituals. Men fell off the cosmetic calendar years ago. Too much trouble to look good, yet women continue to devote the time and energy to maintain and highlight their youthful glows. Meanwhile, men go to work.

Many women believe that this youth-preserving, appearance enhancing ritual is for done for themselves and not to attract the male species. I am in that category, and Mr. Kaminski will attest to that. I’m all about putting myself together and doing it quick, as I have lots of things to do on the daily other than go to work. But, if I’m not feeling a certain kind of way on a day, or I am just too busy to give a damn, my Aqua Net can stays in my cabinet, and I do not spend any time with Estee or Lauder. And it does not phase me one bit. If it bothers Mr. Kaminski, he is much too enlightened or fearful to mention it.

Years ago when my babies were little, a sweet church lady gave me what she felt was some sage advice. “Right before your husband comes home every day, take a moment to run a brush through your hair, and put on fresh clothes and some lipstick. Your husband will appreciate that.”

While I understood where she was going with that wisdom, I just couldn’t swallow it. What about the clean house, the dinner either cooked or arranged, the fact that the children were still alive with homework completed, the lights and tv working as the electric bill had been paid, clothes were clean, holidays managed, schedules maintained and the fact that I made a significant amount of money that day – going to work? Wouldn’t a husband appreciate that? Wouldn’t those successes trump freshly coiffed hair and red come-hither lips? Meanwhile, men go to work.

Now I’m not bashing men for their contributions to society. I’m simply highlighting our plethora of contributions, and unfortunately, as we age, our to do list grows and grows. Case and point: Men are supposed to shave their face, every day. Of course many cheat by growing beards, lessening their coiffing chores. Societal norms dictate that we girls have to shave our legs, our arm pits – depending on which continent you reside – our personals, and now, with age, our faces too? It’s just not equitable. Because meanwhile, men go to work.

Now I have to go figure out which of these three razor-ish devices I use on which body part. Lord, I hope there are some instructions. See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski