Posted on Oct 31, 2015 in
FEATURES
Kids’ Corner | By Patrick Biron –
What if I told you that marshmallows held the key to increasing your child’s chances of success, health and anti-addictive behavior? Hopefully you would be skeptical, and with good reason. Marshmallows don’t actually increase any of those things, no matter how delicious s’mores are. But if you haven’t heard about the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, you may be overlooking a great tool for helping your kids succeed.
In the late 1960s, researchers at Stanford University placed preschoolers through an experiment. The children were led into a room where a delicious marshmallow awaited them on a table. The researcher told the children that they were allowed to eat the marshmallow if they wanted to, but if they could wait 15 minutes before they ate it, they would get two marshmallows to eat. One-third of the children were able to wait, while two thirds ate the marshmallow before the 15 minutes were up.
Three follow-up studies of those same children in 1988,1990 and 2011 demonstrated statistical advantages for the children who waited for two treats. They were described by parents and teachers as “significantly more competent” compared to other adolescents, they had higher SAT scores and success rates in school, and they even had key differences in the development of their prefrontal cortex and addiction centers of the brain. Translation: Teaching your kids delayed gratification – to say no to the marshmallow – might just be the best thing you can do for their success.
Now, as a father of two boys and the owner of a business that serves over 1,000 kids each week, I am well aware that asking a four-year-old to wait 15 minutes to eat a treat is a little bit like asking many adults to wait more than 15 minutes to get the latest iPhone. But, like most things in life, the success of those kids who could resist was not accidental nor coincidental. Studying the experiment yields some fascinating trends.
The first step all the “resisters” did was stop and consider the offer. This was the key first factor, as nearly one-third of the kids – or one-half of the ones who ate the marshmallow – ate it immediately without considering the offer and chance at two treats. Even with children as young as three-years-old, parents can take the time to not only give children options but remind them to stop and think about those choices. When asking your child which book they want to read at night, talk to them about the pros and cons of each one. In other words, make them think before they choose.
The second step of the resisters was employing distraction techniques. Some got up and walked around, others covered their eyes with their hands and still more played with their hair, clothes or chair. This is what separated the group of kids who started to wait but ate the treat before the time was up and those who ultimately succeeded. The successful children had the tools to help them wait.
It’s easy to take for granted as a parent the mental and physical steps that a seemingly simple request requires. So, in addition to telling our kids to be patient, we need to also give them tips and strategies to pass the time and deal with the delay. Send them to do another chore, sing a song or spin in circles, and explain why doing those distractions helps. After all, you know what they say about idle hands: They always will eat the marshmallow.
