Living the Sweet Life: There’s a Butterfly Over the Ocean

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Have you ever just thought, “Tonight I will be in my bed?”  I know I sure have, and I can remember when I thought it, too. Let’s see . . .  I thought it when I was on stage on pointe in a solo and scared to death while in a dance company. I thought it when I was getting a root canal. I think I must have thought it again when at the hospital giving birth to my children. I also thought about for a few days on end when my nephew chose to take his own life. It’s a statement that doesn’t really lend itself to being forgotten once you get the hang of how and more importantly, when, to use it. And you had better use it.

We all need such devises to carry our spirits out of otherwise unpleasant experiences, and the sooner we learn to find a saying that almost becomes a mantra or see a sign from God, we are able to save ourselves from ourselves. The reason is not quite obvious, but let’s look at it and examine the alternatives. If you are a person who thinks above the situation, you remind yourself that this is going to pass.  Despite all of the day or the gloomiest of situations, you can hold steadfast that you will be sleeping in your bed tonight, then you are going to be okay. You are a positive person that can overcome the crap that at some point we all face.

Albeit I know that I have a heads up from most in the resilience department due in large part to my education.  I have a degree in psychology, so I have educated myself on the psyche and have had an unnecessary share of hard knocks – mother getting killed when I was eight, Daddy dropping dead while I was pregnant, losing a few babies and my nephew killing himself to name just a few. Any one of those tragedies could send someone over the edge and into depression, but oddly, it never has for me. In the wake of the latest suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, Brian and I were talking about when could you know someone is in trouble, maybe even before they realize they are?  And in having this discussion with my husband, he said, “You by all accounts should be clinically depressed yet your resilience is amazing!” Truthfully although many things happen to us in our lives, it’s the eyes and attitude in which we interpret these events that make, and yes, does break the few. What happens when you don’t think, “Tonight I will be in my bed?”

That’s the key, isn’t it, to living a sweet life? Could it be as simple as that? Living a fulfilled life is being able to steer yourself back to bed when the world seems to be turning tipsy turvey. I can see in a way that indeed it is a crucial part of why I am who I am. I don’t let the circumstances in any moment in my life make my life; I am a constant while circumstances change. So that leads me to wonder as we are all apt to when we lose someone why we can’t all do that? Where is the breaking point that disables a person from understanding that tomorrow will come – that this right here will pass, and I’ll still be standing.  When does that happen?

A few months ago I was standing in the crystal blue waters off of the Dominican Republic enjoying the starfish and the untouched beaches there when a bright yellow butterfly flew right into me and Brian. It hovered and stayed with us for an unusually long time. I told Brian and James Edward that butterfly was our Jennings coming to play with us over the ocean –  a free spirit now. After we returned home, I spoke to my friend who had given us her home there and told her about this one bright yellow butterfly over the ocean.  She looked puzzled, and said, “Butterflies are only there in March, not ever in December.” This made me even more assured that this little butterfly was a sign that despite everything, even in death, everything will still be okay.

Take Care of YOU!

Alisa