Happy Birthday America!

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

The Red Ryder Roundup – the perfect birthday celebration for America!

Now I am all in for a good summer holiday, especially one that involves fireworks and parties, but I must confess I have questions about the 4th of July.

I understand the concept of the holiday – it commemorates the Declaration of Independence ratified by the Second Continental Congress on July 4th, 1776, which established the great United States of America.  That’s a real fancy way of saying July 4th is America’s birthday.  I get that.  I don’t get why it’s called the 4th of July?  My birthday isn’t referred to as the 13th of October.  It’s referred to as my birthday.  So why not be direct about the actual genesis of the celebration – the reason for the season as it were – and call it what it is?

Upon further investigation, the plot thickens.  Turns out July 4th, 1776 was not the day that the Continental Congress decided to declare the 13 colonies independent.  They did that on July 2nd, 1776.  They may not have had their I’s dotted and their T’s crossed until July 4th, but the deed was done on July 2nd.

Regardless of the date, this July 4th, we celebrate America turning 248 years old.  There are parades, fireworks, rodeos, bar-be-ques, but there’s no cake.  Again, doesn’t make a lick of sense.  There should be a ginormous cake for America’s big day.  I get cake on my birthday – thinking y’all do as well.  That’s a rather significant faux paus in basic birthday protocol in my book.

Of course, the other term for July 4th is Independence Day.  Still, no reference to the fact that it’s America’s birthday.  I have several girlfriends who celebrate their Independence Day, but let me assure you, it has nothing whatsoever to do with America.  And yes, they have parties, but it’s celebrating an entirely different brand of freedom if you get my drift.  It typically results in the loss of about 200 pounds – of a man.

Happy Birthday America!  I’m sorry your special day isn’t branded as it should be, but I’ve already decided that this year, I’m making you a cake.  It won’t have 248 candles on it, but the sentiment will be there.  See y’all next week – on the porch!

Patti Parish-Kaminski

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