Hail – More Like Hell – to the Queen

The weight of both the crown – and real clothes – gone for the summer.

By Patti Parish-Kaminski, Publisher

I am delighted to say that my reign is over. I no longer wear the crown. I have abdicated the throne. I have released my loyal subjects – all three of them. I renounce my authority. By the grace of God, I am no longer the Queen of Quarantine.

This royal business was a tough gig. Sure, somebody had to do it – to take one for the team and lead unabashedly. But it’s lonely at the top. This sequestering of yourself and your kingdom – it’s just not for the faint of heart. Tough times call for brazen leadership, and I stepped up. I was the queen of my boarded-up castle. But now I’m done, really done.

Now that my reign is over, I’ve gone to the movies. Remember movie theatres? I’ve gone to a luncheon – with real people. I even hugged their necks! I’ve gone shopping – real shopping – not the sprinting- in-store-run-without-touching- anything-with-a-mask-on-before-I-hyperventilate shopping. I even tried on some clothes! Well, that really didn’t go so well. Apparently, my growth during quarantine was not solely spiritual.

Now that the gates to the land are open, I’m loose. I kind of feel like that tiger in Houston that escaped its home and went on the prowl throughout the neighborhood. I’m doing it all – even things I don’t necessarily like or want to do. I’m doing it – because I can. Heck I might even go to a baseball game. They typically have hot dogs there, so there’s a redeeming aspect. I’m just more than half full since the dreaded Corona Quarantine – my cup – really my wine glass – literally runneth over. I can absolutely make anything work.

So, I’ll be out and about now sporting caftans as my new post-quarantine look. Some of the designer ones are quite nice, or so I tell myself. Don’t shatter my allusions – just let me wear loose-fitting, long curtains for a minute. Scarlett did it, and it seemed to work for her. So, caftans it is, that is until I run out of Ding Dongs and can get back into my jeans.

See y’all next week – on the porch!


Patti Parish-Kaminski

Follow Patti Parish-Kaminski on Facebook at facebook.com/patti.parishkaminski and on Instagram at instagram.com/ontheporchwithpatti/.